Before Tristan Thompson, there was Lamar Odom, Khloe Kardashian’s ex-husband who she divorced after his lies and infidelity was revealed. The now 39-year-old former basketball player has penned a memoir Darkness to Light that touches on his deep regret with letting Khloe down. “For a while, being with her was bliss and I was the happiest I’ve ever been,” Odom writes in his book, according to PEOPLE. “We were one of the most famous couples in Hollywood and we made more money together than we had individually.”
Lamar details how he was faithful to Khloe at the start of their marriage but things changed as he admits to a sex and drug addiction. “I could not handle the lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career and infidelity,” he writes. “Oh, did I mention the paranoia, anxiety, depression. … I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants or the coke out of my nose. Drug addicts are incredibly skilled at hiding their habit. I’d get defensive and Khloe? would just drop it.”
Lamar talks of the time he overdosed in a brothel and when he woke up in the hospital, Khloe was by his side, showing him photos of his mother. “I was surprised on how quick she was to show her devotion to me,” he adds.
“Her love for me must have been unconditional. That’s the only thing [I think] that gave her the strength to still love me at that time.” Lamar hopes that he and Khloe can be friends, writing how he misses her family and hopes to one day be reacquainted with them.